Mental Health-o-pedia

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31st March 2022

A rule of thumb followed by people who are emotionally or mentally abused is to pull the blame back inwards.


Written by: Samanza Sanzana Ahmed 

Why do we blame ourselves even when we are not at fault? 

1) Negative Self Evaluation- This happens when the victim’s worth is overtly demeaned and not being able to stand up to the impractical expectations that the abuser holds them up to, the victim considers himself/herself to be a failure 

2) Persistent Insecurity- The sufferers' feelings/efforts have been invalidated in the past and now they have developed a tendency to doubt their own abilities. 

3) Manipulation by Abusers- The abuser plays his cards well and manipulates the victims causing them to question their own memories and perceptions. The victims losing their sanity in their most vulnerable state start to consider the only logical person left reprehensible: themselves. 

4) Chronic Emotional Distress- After being abused, the psychological and mental turmoil eventually generates long-term outbursts of guilt, shame, and anxiety. This is most common in victims who refuse to seek therapy or professional support.


What can we do about it? 

  • #Tip 1: Emotional abuse conditions people to question their self-worth and denigrate themselves. Keep reminding yourself that you’re worthy and it’s not your fault.
  • #Tip 2: Even while making progress, it is necessary to remember that it takes time to heal and it takes time to process. Give yourself space and time to change the normal you once knew. 
  • #Tip 3: Setting boundaries can help you heal from emotional abuse. Remember that your boundaries must be protected by both others and yourself. 


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